wanting

So maybe back in the day when you were small and the world was big, instead of the other way ’round, you learned that dreams and wants were better kept secret.

Maybe you found that Wants were leverage others could use to make you do something, or not do something. To be something, or not be something. To be someone, or not to be.

Maybe you came to see Wants as gaping vulnerabilities. Maybe others used them to create an imbalance of power that would take decades to set right.

Maybe you learned to keep your Wants to yourself.

And maybe you forgot to, sometimes…and every time was a reminder that you’d best remember—

Keep things secret to keep them safe.

The evidence was there and there and there and THERE, so it wasn’t just true, it was Very True.

But then 30 years pass and you realize even things that are Very True aren’t Always True.

***

The Universe is listening.

She hears our wants and returns an equal energetic response.

When we keep our wants a secret, she keeps her ways a secret.

When we say nothing, she offers nothing. When we whisper to her, we can hardly hear her answer.

When we ask, she replies…same words, same emphasis. She echoes our doubt and fear and dread—

How the hell could this possibly work!?
How the hell could this possibly work!?

I’m gonna fail!
You’re gonna fail!

I must be crazy!
You must be crazy!

Imma end up in a box under a bridge cooking pigeon-on-a-stick over a teeny-ass fire!
I’ll bring the pepper sauce!

Fortunately, she also reflects our curiosity—

Should I do this?
Should you do this?

Is it the right thing to do?
Is it the right thing to do?

But what will happen?
Hmm…what will happen?

What if it doesn’t work?
Hmm…what if it doesn’t?

***

And maybe one day we just tell her what we want in clear and simple words.

Maybe we’re done with whispers and doubt. Maybe we’re a little loud about it. Maybe we get a little pushy.

Maybe Uni responds with the same…a little loud. A little push.

Maybe we speak with her about the hazards of want and need. Maybe we talk long into the night, on many many nights.

And then we start to get exactly what we need to get what we want.

Maybe we venture to pick a date and time when we want the Want to happen.

And then she clears a path and points the way.

Maybe we bet our last chips…all in. Maybe we tempt the Dream Eater by daring to start a countdown. Maybe we tell the world. Maybe we lean into it…all in.

And maybe then the Universe will lean into us, bending everything our way.

Maybe.

We’ll see.